Family weddings (Part 1)

I find attending family weddings extremely stressful. You are expected to remember and greet 4th cousins, your uncle’s wife’s brother’s wife’s father, anyone and everyone you met 3 years earlier at a wedding and will probably meet 3 years later at another wedding.

As you set off for the wedding reminding your mum to not introduce you to people you don’t remember meeting 3 years earlier, you are simultaneously preparing for a test in memory, family trees and relationships.

Once you are at the wedding, you realize any amount of preparation is inadequate. Your mum goes back on her promise and reintroduces you to people you think you are meeting for the first time. She says " you remember Sapna right? You met her at Anu akka's wedding." And you try hard to conjure up images of the wedding which happened 3 years earlier. You give up after a while and look at your mum with a who-is-this look. And she says " Don't you remember Sapna. Subbu uncle's daughter?" You ask yourself "Who is this Subbu uncle?" and look at your mum helplessly. She gets the hint and says "Remember Subbu uncle. Anu akka's brother-in-law". And that's when a distant light glows in your head. Oh yeah!Subbu uncle. That man i met 3 years earlier at my cousin sister's wedding.

It takes me time to figure out the connection by which time Sapna is embarrassed because you took time to say hi to her. And you are embarrassed because you are telling yourself "when did i ever meet her " while saying hi to her. After that incident, you try and get lost in the maze of uncles, aunts, grand uncles who obviously don't remember you unless forced to.

Now, that leads to another problem which i will talk about some other time.

Happy, Confused, Depressed…

Lifestyle, Shopper’s Stop, Central, Garuda, Forum…where to go?
Santro, 800, Alto, i10…how to go?
Levi’s , Lee, Wrangler, Pepe…what to wear?
Tandoor, Chinese, Italian, Continental…what to eat?

Options mean different things to different people. Some are happy with the embarrassment of options. Some are confused with the appeal of so many options and some others are depressed with the invasion of hundreds of options.

Living in the past, screwing up the present

Why do most of us live in the past? Why are we so hung up over people, failures and what not?

Thinking about what happened doesn’t change anything. It only screws up everything, up there (our minds) and out there (the present). Why are we desperate to change our past knowing fully well that the present is all we have? Why are we intent on screwing up the present by living in the past? We seem to weighing the present based on what happened in the past. Why is embracing the present so difficult? Why do we think about the present when it has passed and entered the graveyard of the past?

Can we ever get out of the bed of the past and say hello to the moment?

Crowds: Blend in or stand out

You can either be a part of the crowd or stand out. The choice is yours.

What happens when you decide to add to the teeming millions? Simple. You become a part of the sea; a sea of blues, blacks, whites marching to the sounds of hundreds of conversations. You lose you identity. Nobody cares what you wear or how you talk. Nobody cares whether you are Bill Gates' cousin or Dharavi's son. You are going through the motions just like the others. It's not about you. It's not about them.

Ok, you decide to stand out? What happens then? In your quest for an identity, you try hard to not succumb to the call of the herd. In your struggle to carve a path, you are beaten and battered to the point of submission. And yet, you decide to get up, dust your pants and move forward. It's about you. It's not about them .

So, blend in or stand out. Your choice is all that matters.

The body has no name

40 killed, 30 bodies recovered. How often do we read headlines like these? Everyday, isn’t it? I don’t want to add to the numbers. I want to talk about the transition from a living, breathing person to a body.

And how long does it take Sunil to become a body? How long does it take little Sonia to become a body? It doesn’t take time at all. The person disappears with the breath and what remains is the body.

The body has no name. It has no gender. It cannot feel pain. Who is Sunil? Who is Sonia? They don’t exist. The body has taken over. Hail the body!

Into the wild in search of the truth

Into the wild is the story of Christopher McCandless, a top of the class graduate student who renounces a promising career and big money to venture into the wild. His search for the truth takes him from West Virginia to Alaska where he flirts with the truth in the cradle of death. This movie poses lots of questions.

What is the truth? Is there one single truth or multiple truths leading to one single truth? Are we strong enough to realize the truth? Even if we have realized the truth, are we strong enough to live with it?

So many questions…

Chasing, chasing….

Chasing a good career, chasing possibilities, chasing dreams….chasing, chasing all the time.
What does it take to sit back and relax? Just soak into the present without thinking about the future. The present is all we have got because the future is a mystery.

And yet, we are trying to imagine and live our future in our heads. And, at the end, we are all disappointed because the real future is a far cry from our imagined future.

Still, we chase….

Trains (of thought)

I am thinking what to write about. So many trains of thought. Some as fast as the Shatabdi; some as slow as the goods train. Ah! That reminds me about something.The one train I have hated all my life is the good train. One, it's damn slow. Stops anywhere and everywhere.Two, it's long. How many bogies does it have? 130. Not too sure.Three, its brown in color. So boring.

What happens when a goods train and an express train compete? You know the answer. Ok try this one. What happens when an express train of thought and a goods train of thought compete? Did somebody say a new train of thought? I think its confusion.

That what my train of thought is at the moment. Feel like i have one leg on an express train and the other on a goods trains. The outcome is not hard to imagine.

Talking the walk

Ever observed how people walk? I think there are as many walks as there are people. I have put my list together. Before you proceed, I must tell you there are innumerable variations under each category. I haven’t got into those. So, here we go:

1) “Something up my pants” walk: People in this category don’t walk. I think they hop on their legs. Something down there is irritating them. And they try to get rid of that something by not allowing that something to get deeper. For example, say a glass piece has got into your heel. What do you do? You don’t let it get any deeper by walking on your toes and then try and remove it. The case is somewhat similar in this case expect that this something is permanent or so it seems to me.

2) “I don’t have heels” walk: People who walk on their toes fall in this category. Seeing them walk makes you wonder whether they have any heels or not. It high time someone comes out with only toed shoes. Why waste the rest the shoe when there is no use for it?

3) “I am bearing the burden of the entire world” walk: Their walk suggests that they are carrying a huge burden on their shoulders. The back is bent, the legs are struggling to cope up and the face is showing the pain. Their posture is similar to one of the phases in the evolution of man.

4) “I skate” walk: Seen people skating. The way they drag their feet to gain momentum. They do this because the wheels require that kind of drag. People in this category walk as if they have wheels attached to their feet. They walk as fast they run.

5) “My legs are not mine” walk: People in this category are made up of 2 bodies. One from the head till the knees and the other, from the knee to the foes. Everything’s fine till just above the knees. The problem starts when you venture lower. The rest of the leg starting with the shin bone operates in a different world. They seem to be walking in one direction while their legs seem to be taking them in another direction. Wonder, how they get to one place when the body has 2 minds.

I am sure there are many more categories and even more variations under each category. I could manage 5. I think I know which category I fall under. What about you?

Random

If you are stressed, stand on your toes, close your eyes, spread your arms and soak in the heavenly love. So what if only crows end up loving you? That’s fine as long as you feel good about it.

If you are stressed, look at the pretty girl sitting next to you, keep looking at her till she sees you looking at her, smile and get back to what your are doing.

If you are stressed, rewind back to the 100m race where Usain Bolt “flew”, feel the adrenalin rush in your fingers tips and key in “I am not stressed”.

If you are stressed, take in a few deep breaths, feel the tension and then let loose.

If you are stressed, do nothing for a moment. Just do nothing for a moment. Don’t think, don’t write, don’t react, just be.

Family packs

6 packs were always popular. Shahrukh Khan made them sexy. Aamir khan responded with an 8 pack.

But which are the most popular packs? Any guesses. These packs are all around us; at work, in our homes and follow us wherever we go. Ok, I will tell you. The most popular of all packs are the family or joint family packs.

These packs find their way through any piece of clothing to make their presence felt. People stare at these packs and wonder how long it takes for such packs to develop. No pumping iron or painful crunches, just lots of food and cholesterol. The best thing about these packs is that they seem to be separate from the body. Everything else remaining the same, these packs grow in size. They seem to operate in a world of their own. They are not governed by laws of nature.

So once these packs develop, it takes a lot of pain and time to get rid of them. These packs thrive on food and lack of exercise and that’s the easiest way to live. Getting rid of these packs is easier said than done. However, where there is a pack there is a way and one way of getting rid of these packs is controlling what goes in along with making these packs work hard for their daily meal.

8th Wonder of the world

If at all there is place for an 8th wonder of the world, it has to be the ubiquitous Hyderabad auto. Supposed to accomodate 4, it is quite capable of holding 3 times as many. Now, you might be wondering 12 people can get into an auto.

I will do the arrangement for you. 3 on the seat behind, 4 perchedon the 3 behind, 2 on either side with their posteriors in mid air, 2 on either side of the driverand finally the driver. That makes it 12. Simple isnt it?

NO its not. The tought part begins when you stop the auto and tell the driver where you want to go.Before he says get in you say no looking at the teeming "millions" all huddled up for the journey of their lives. However the driver convinces you that there is place with his killer line: Saab jab dil mein jagah ho to kaayka problem.

As soon as you get in you know that you have been duped. A glance at your co passengers tells you their story. Now the journey itself is another story. I reserve it for another day.