Talking the walk

Ever observed how people walk? I think there are as many walks as there are people. I have put my list together. Before you proceed, I must tell you there are innumerable variations under each category. I haven’t got into those. So, here we go:

1) “Something up my pants” walk: People in this category don’t walk. I think they hop on their legs. Something down there is irritating them. And they try to get rid of that something by not allowing that something to get deeper. For example, say a glass piece has got into your heel. What do you do? You don’t let it get any deeper by walking on your toes and then try and remove it. The case is somewhat similar in this case expect that this something is permanent or so it seems to me.

2) “I don’t have heels” walk: People who walk on their toes fall in this category. Seeing them walk makes you wonder whether they have any heels or not. It high time someone comes out with only toed shoes. Why waste the rest the shoe when there is no use for it?

3) “I am bearing the burden of the entire world” walk: Their walk suggests that they are carrying a huge burden on their shoulders. The back is bent, the legs are struggling to cope up and the face is showing the pain. Their posture is similar to one of the phases in the evolution of man.

4) “I skate” walk: Seen people skating. The way they drag their feet to gain momentum. They do this because the wheels require that kind of drag. People in this category walk as if they have wheels attached to their feet. They walk as fast they run.

5) “My legs are not mine” walk: People in this category are made up of 2 bodies. One from the head till the knees and the other, from the knee to the foes. Everything’s fine till just above the knees. The problem starts when you venture lower. The rest of the leg starting with the shin bone operates in a different world. They seem to be walking in one direction while their legs seem to be taking them in another direction. Wonder, how they get to one place when the body has 2 minds.

I am sure there are many more categories and even more variations under each category. I could manage 5. I think I know which category I fall under. What about you?